Finding Your Why (and Why It Matters in Public Speaking)
“Happiness comes from WHAT we do. Fulfillment comes from WHY we do it. Fulfillment comes when our work connects directly to our WHY.”
Simon Sinek
This is an oft-quoted statement by Sinek and it’s the foundational premise of his well-known book, Start With Why. But what does “finding your why” have to do with public speaking?
If you're a public speaker who often presents to an audience or a team, it's quite possible that your WHY changes from one event and one audience to the next. Because of this, it's crucial to understand not only your why but also your what and who – all of which will help you become clear about your why before you ever even open your mouth.
Once you find your definitive purpose, everything else will fall into place. You’ll be more comfortable, more natural, more persuasive, more effective, more relaxed, and more YOU when you get in front of your audience (no matter the size).
Without it, all of the reverse applies: you’ll be uncomfortable, unnatural, halting, faltering, nervous, ineffective and (worst of all) inauthentic when you speak. Interestingly enough, this is true even when you are well-practiced, well-rested, and well-researched.
Public speaking without your WHY firmly understood and embraced creates self-doubt – the #1 enemy of effective and engaging communication.
When you fail to find your WHY, communication isn't seamless. It becomes disjointed which makes it difficult to foster a much-needed connection with your audience. You may even experience a lack of motivation, asking yourself, "Why am I even doing this in the first place?"
So… HOW do you find your WHY?
The first step is to remind yourself of the reasons you're communicating in the first place. What is so important that you’re willing to get up in front of an audience to convey? What message are you passionate about? Why are you speaking to THIS particular group of people and WHAT do you want them to hear, learn, or do?
Sometimes the answers to these questions are super simple and won’t require much soul-searching, especially if you’re handed a presentation from The Powers That Be and you’re just the assigned mouthpiece… but, if you’re actually speaking on a subject you happen to be passionate about to an audience you hope will really LISTEN to you, it’s time to align with your WHY.
Finding your why is, in essence, understanding your purpose. It may sound a little corny or maybe a little too “serious” for the realm of public speaking, but there is a significance to everything we choose to engage in – and we have a responsibility to do it to the very best of our ability. Not only that, but we owe it to our audience to make the time invested in listening to us of value.
The truth is that life is about serving your purpose, not searching for one. The key is understanding your reason for being and how you can use that reason to your advantage in everything you do – whether you’re doing it as an executive, public speaker, spouse, or even a combination of all three.
You may serve many purposes in this lifetime and there’s nothing wrong with that! As long as you've found your own WHY for that specific moment, you will have discovered your purpose, which will enable you to empower, engage and inspire others.
So, what are some practical things you can do to find your WHY?
A few simple yet highly effective steps can make a genuine difference in your life:
Start by practicing breath meditation. The mindful technique, a Buddhist tradition practiced for centuries, can help you become more self-aware.
Next, focus on feeling your inner body. Most of us have been on autopilot for years, disconnected from our inner selves. Connect with your inner self through meditation and focus on what's happening within you. When you discipline yourself enough to become aware of YOURSELF in the present, without thinking about the past or worrying about the future, you begin to tap into the power of your own inner body. This will help you get more in tune with your body and the nervous system, also known as the emotional guidance system, which will help you stay more connected to your authentic self – as well as nurturing the YOU you want to be.
Physical touch is yet another way to become more in tune with your body. Something as simple as sitting down in a chair or holding a piece of fruit and using your senses to pay attention to how it feels in your hands can help you become more self-aware. All of this is training to assist in becoming more AWARE and more PRESENT.
Along with physical touch, you can begin reciting mantras daily to condition your consciousness and become more self-aware. While some people recite religious mantras, you can do this with positive affirmations, giving your mind something to think about and focus on instead of the past or future.
Try waiting for your next thought. If you stop everything you're doing and just focus on now, the present, you can experience the magic of what happens when you wait on your next thought. As the Power of Now states, you can become more conscious of your thoughts and ask yourself, "What will I think of next?"
Become more aware of the silence around you. If you sit in a quiet room and meditate, you will quickly realize the world isn't silent, whether you hear the sounds of traffic or birds chirping outside your window. When you focus on the external noise instead of the noise inside your mind, you can become more aware and conscious of your thoughts and feelings. You can condition your consciousness to the point that you care so much about what you feel that you become unwilling to entertain a condition that wouldn't embrace something you are. Remember: we create everything that happens with our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and words – we are the ones in control of what we experience.
It's also important to listen closely to the words that others say to us. How often do you find yourself zoning out mid-conversation with someone? Listen to what people are saying and really hear the words coming from their mouths. Instead of getting lost in your head to the point that you're stressing over what to say next or how to impress this person, focus solely on what you hear from them and live in that moment. This will lead to better experiences with those around you.
Lastly, remember to focus on movement. You may be on autopilot when doing different things, such as driving to work, preparing a meal, or completing daily tasks. We're all guilty of doing this because these movements happen over and over again in a routine way, but if we can focus on what we're doing in the moment, it takes our minds off the past and future and enables us to live in the NOW.
Here’s the bottom line: our authentic self is only present when we're living in the present moment. And only our authentic self is capable of tapping into our WHY, our purpose, so that we can effectively and passionately communicate it to others.